Friday, June 27, 2003
Ok so I am in a funk lately and I just can't seem to get the fog to lift... My house is a disaster area waiting to be condemned and I just don't care.... I am TRYING to weed thru the laundry and pick up here and there.... I am TRYING not to let the dishes overrun the sink and I am TRYING to just do more of everything but I am really failing at it all...
I miss my friends... I miss the conversations, the laughter, the comraderie, the warmth of the close circle of friends... I MUST do something about it all and do something quickly I think... Just as soon as I can clear my head....
There has been sooo much happening in my life lately I feel like I am on a merry go round that just won't stop... I had a job interview for a small promotion on Tues and I think I did ok - I should know one way or another next week I think... Then yesterday evening I had a phone interview for a lateral in Alabama and I think that went ok... although the more I thought about the more I realized if offered the job I won't take it and when they had asked that I said I would unless I had a better job offer... *sigh* I see myself lying to them gently to turn them down if I do get offered the job... I am waiting to see how I fair w/the local job announcement that would mean a big promotion w/i 3 yrs...
Deven is officially done w/school for the yr and TG as it was a rough year as all of you know from following my life... The boys are now in summer camp at the preschool... They LOVE IT!!! Well sorta... Deven has been exhausted the past 2 days being in the big kid class where they are busy busy busy all day and don't nap and Dilen had a rough start when some brillant mind decided to move him to a younger class downstairs w/a different teacher... the poor child cried for over 1/2 hr at the door before the director finally said ENOUGH!! You can't do this to my boy and sent him back up to his room/teacher where he had been all year... God I love some of the women at that school for how they really care and look after the boys... And I got a great compliment on Deven after his first day when 2 teachers familiar w/him said they didn't even realize he was w/the class he was so good!!! Ahhhh it does my heart good to hear that.... I am volunteering at the school 3 days a week, W-F from 9-4 and working on getting them to give me those days free for the boys but even if they don't I am enjoying spending time w/the kids and helping out at the school...
My mom is coming to visit and help me whip the house back in order and to finish painting the hall at a minimum... She should be arriving Sunday and only staying til Weds or MAYBE Thurs.... Just a short trip to help me out... I really do appreciate her being willing to come do this but I do pray it's merely a SHORT visit and she doesn't try to angle a move back in....
E and I are doing well - he's really trying to better himself and I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but there are many days were I really don't see us married thru the end of the year - in my heart I just don't see it happening - there is something missing and it's leaving a huge hole in my heart and my life... But still I am trying....
Well it's off to finish my work before I attempt to grab a cat nap.... Til next time...
I miss my friends... I miss the conversations, the laughter, the comraderie, the warmth of the close circle of friends... I MUST do something about it all and do something quickly I think... Just as soon as I can clear my head....
There has been sooo much happening in my life lately I feel like I am on a merry go round that just won't stop... I had a job interview for a small promotion on Tues and I think I did ok - I should know one way or another next week I think... Then yesterday evening I had a phone interview for a lateral in Alabama and I think that went ok... although the more I thought about the more I realized if offered the job I won't take it and when they had asked that I said I would unless I had a better job offer... *sigh* I see myself lying to them gently to turn them down if I do get offered the job... I am waiting to see how I fair w/the local job announcement that would mean a big promotion w/i 3 yrs...
Deven is officially done w/school for the yr and TG as it was a rough year as all of you know from following my life... The boys are now in summer camp at the preschool... They LOVE IT!!! Well sorta... Deven has been exhausted the past 2 days being in the big kid class where they are busy busy busy all day and don't nap and Dilen had a rough start when some brillant mind decided to move him to a younger class downstairs w/a different teacher... the poor child cried for over 1/2 hr at the door before the director finally said ENOUGH!! You can't do this to my boy and sent him back up to his room/teacher where he had been all year... God I love some of the women at that school for how they really care and look after the boys... And I got a great compliment on Deven after his first day when 2 teachers familiar w/him said they didn't even realize he was w/the class he was so good!!! Ahhhh it does my heart good to hear that.... I am volunteering at the school 3 days a week, W-F from 9-4 and working on getting them to give me those days free for the boys but even if they don't I am enjoying spending time w/the kids and helping out at the school...
My mom is coming to visit and help me whip the house back in order and to finish painting the hall at a minimum... She should be arriving Sunday and only staying til Weds or MAYBE Thurs.... Just a short trip to help me out... I really do appreciate her being willing to come do this but I do pray it's merely a SHORT visit and she doesn't try to angle a move back in....
E and I are doing well - he's really trying to better himself and I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but there are many days were I really don't see us married thru the end of the year - in my heart I just don't see it happening - there is something missing and it's leaving a huge hole in my heart and my life... But still I am trying....
Well it's off to finish my work before I attempt to grab a cat nap.... Til next time...
